Encouraging

Fearless

Martha Brehm / Big Stories, Encouraging, Inspirational Story / Breast Cancer, Fear / 17 Comments

June 23, 2020

It is way too easy in life, to look back and see all the ways we could have done things differently. But in the middle of a crisis, the flurry of emotion and exhaustion often mixes together into a massive cloud of confusion. Our ability to see things clearly seems to evaporate and we run to hide behind something or someone or even within ourselves. But hiding is never the answer; neither is fear.

Tracy and I sat outside the coffee shop talking. The weather was strange for late May, somewhat cool and intermittently misting. Some people may have thought us odd for sitting outside at the time. A national pandemic, however, makes people do somewhat crazy things. At one point, the conversation was revolving around the feeling that we could have handled some situations better in the past. Everyone knows and attests to the saying, “No one’s perfect,” yet we all expect ourselves to be. Once again, a type of craziness in which we all seem to take part.

For me, I encountered that feeling a few years ago. Dental work threw me into a major TMJ crisis without being able to talk or eat much at all for months and months. Looking back, I wish I could have handled things better. At the time, I was just trying to hang on and wasn’t doing a great job of even that.

Tracy’s encounter with “I wish I could have handled things better,” was a more current situation. It involved the difficult task of her telling others that she needed help and ultimately allowing those people to help her. We all want to be on the giving side, but nobody wants to be on the receiving side. Once again, more craziness but we all do it. It must stem from pride or maybe even fear of how people view us. Fear is a powerful enemy. Tracy knew this from experience. Twelve years ago, when we met, I watched Tracy win her first major round with fear.

I should first say, Tracy is one of the strongest people I know. I have never seen her back away from anything difficult. She is one of those people who walks in the room and appears to have everything together. Calm, collected, forthcoming, and genuine. This is someone who you would never imagine had to work to overcome fear. Perhaps that highlights the point I want to make. We all have to work to overcome fear. Some of us just have to work a little harder.

A little over 12 years ago, Tracy was diagnosed with breast cancer. When we first met, my friend had just completed chemo and was beginning radiation. Rarely did she miss our once-a-week study group. Despite having two small children, just finishing chemo, and in the midst of radiation, every week Tracy appeared on time and beautifully put together. She’d arrive with her lesson completed, a wig on, and a smile on her face. This happened week after week after week. That is, until out of the blue one Thursday Tracy arrived – on time, lesson done, but no wig. Her smile was still present and in fact, may have been a little bigger.

Practically everyone there immediately responded with the type of responses girls do. Things like, “I love your hair!”

“Your hair is so cute!”

“You look adorable!”

Things like those. And they were true. Tracy’s hair was her own, super short but hers.

Later that day, several of us ate lunch together. It was a “share your personal stuff” kind of lunch. Conversations with friends about what’s going on behind the scenes and how you really feel. It was then Tracy shared some of the things that had prompted the removal of the wig. I remember her talking about fear. Fear that the cancer might come back. Fear that she wouldn’t be there for her kids or her husband. Living with the constant fear of having to go through it all again. She didn’t want to stay where she was, but at the same time, afraid to move forward. Stuck in some limbo land, wondering if there was a future.

Tracy said she had made the decision to stop being afraid on Easter. She wasn’t going to fear the future anymore. Instead, she was going to walk straight forward into it. She felt like she had been hiding inside the wig, afraid to come out. That day, the hiding was over. The wig came off and fear went down. This isn’t to say wearing a wig is wrong. It’s not about the wig, it’s about hiding. The thing you’re hiding behind? That’s what needs to go. Fear can be defeated, it just takes courage.

Fear can paralyze us. It grows in the darkness. Permeates our thoughts. And it becomes more ominous the more we focus on what it is we fear. Fear can consume people. Perhaps that is why Jesus said over and over, “Do not fear.” He talked about it with groups, said it to individuals directly, and even covered the topic in parables. Jesus knew we would have to face things which would cause us to fear, but still he said, “Don’t be afraid.”

In his message on fear, Andy Stanley put it this way, “You don’t have to be afraid, even when there’s something to be afraid of.” It sounds crazy, but in this case it isn’t. As Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” Life puts us in some pretty scary situations and being consumed by fear will only make matters worse. Whether it’s COVID19, unemployment, losing someone you love or something you have, life can be brutally scary. Jesus acknowledged we’d be in fear-provoking situations, but he also said we could still choose not to fear. And the reason He gave? “Because I am with you.”

I think it is a little like a child walking through the woods late at night. It’s dark, it’s alarming, and it’s potentially dangerous. But in the presence of a parent, the child can take hold of their hand, and make the journey without being afraid. They believe the parent can handle whatever they encounter and will get them safely through the scary woods to the other side. Jesus holds out his hand to us and makes the same offer.

The account of the disciples in the boat is always a favorite of mine. Twelve men, one small boat, middle of the night, wind buffeting, storm raging, hours of rowing – sounds eerily similar in ways to some of our own trials. When out of the darkness, they see Jesus on the water. “They were terrified,” is how the NIV reads. Jesus’ response? “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

I’m always encouraged that his response wasn’t to belittle the men and tell them to muster up some courage. Instead He says, “Take courage.” One of the definitions in Merriam-Webster for the word ‘take’ is “to transfer into one’s own keeping.” Jesus has courage and extends the offer to transfer some. We just need to take it from him. Whatever it is you are afraid of, you don’t have to be afraid any more.

So take courage. Tracy has. Even though round one in the battle of fear ended several years ago, Tracy was diagnosed with breast cancer again nine months ago. This time it is a different type of breast cancer. After the biopsy, the pathology results came back triple negative, requiring a much more difficult treatment course.

And there we sat, full circle in many ways. Just as when I first met her, Tracy was in the middle of radiation following her chemo. And there we were having lunch, the kind where you “share your personal stuff.” But this time fear didn’t get invited. I saw no fear in Tracy, although I’m certain the temptation remains. What I did see was the strong desire to never go back into hiding. The desire to live life well no matter what lies ahead. The hope is she will continually say yes to help, but always say no to fear. That, my friends, is courage. And I’m certain I know who it came from.

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I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Ps 34:4 NLT

Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and staff – they comfort me. Ps 23:4 HCSB

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 NIV

For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love and sound judgement. 2 Tim 1:7 HCSB

So I took courage because I was strengthen by Yahweh my God. Ezra 7:28 HCSB

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified…… But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!” Matthew 14:26,27 NLT

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For all the great pictures of Tracy’s story, head to the Picture Page!

Check out the Pinterest Pins for Fearless too! Click here.

Unopened Letters

Martha Brehm / Big Stories, Encouraging, Love, Unopened letters / 12 Comments

November 4, 2018

This Uncommon Story is the first where the person I am writing about will most likely choose to remain anonymous. But actually that flows into the story perfectly. That’s because this story is about things that don’t come out in the open – things hidden away, never read, never spoken, never done. Mainly this is a story about unopened letters.

The story begins with me in a restaurant having lunch with a friend. As we visited and ate, she began to tell me about a man in whose home she was working. Being in the health care profession, she never discussed his medical issues, or for that matter, even his name. But she did mention that he was looking for meaning beyond the wealth and power we are all pushed toward in this culture. Intrigued by what she was saying, I offered to come to the house and talk with him about trying to discover some answers. My friend smiled and responded that was unlikely. Nevertheless, she agreed she would mention it to him when she saw him next.

Weeks later, I was shocked when my friend relayed to me that her client was interested. He gave his consent to letting me know his name and we set up a time to visit him at his home. In the interval, I tossed around some different ways to seek answers to some of the complicated questions about life. As a starter, looking at what other wise people had to say about the subject seemed like a good idea. One of the world’s best-known commentators on life was Jesus, so I came up with various ways our threesome might take a look at what he had to say.

When the three of us met, introductions were made and we sat around a small kitchen table. Thinking back, our small group consisted of pretty different people. But the truth is, no matter who we are, we’re all looking for answers to a lot of the same questions. I think finding the answers often comes down to a willingness to open up to other people as well as to ourselves. We have to be willing to admit that we’re searching, to confess that we don’t have all the answers and not be afraid to look for those answers. That takes revealing a part of ourselves that’s usually hidden, and that can be a very difficult thing…..

After tossing around different options, the three of us landed on reading the book of Matthew. Some might wonder why we would even open up a Bible to look for answers. After all, there are people who doubt it’s accuracy and relevance. That in itself is a lengthy discussion and for the most part one I’ll leave for another day. I will however, have some links following the music video at the end of the story for those who are interested. But there is no doubt, that Jesus was a real person and that he made such a profound impact on the world that we are still talking about him today. That in itself is a pretty good reason to take a look at what he had to say about life.

Around the third time we met, a most unusual thing happened. As I put together ideas for the visit, one particular thought kept coming to mind. I kept thinking about a letter. I’m not sure why, but the picture of a letter that was never read kept coming to mind. I thought about what it would be like to write to someone you loved, I mean really loved, hoping that what you told them caused them to love you back. How would you feel if later you found out, they had never even read the letter.

So many things left unsaid…….

And so many things said but never heard.

And the world is a sadder place because of it.

Those thoughts echoed in my mind as I headed off to meet with my friends. The warm breeze blew across my face in the car while the letter lingered on my mind. When I arrived the three of us found our chairs at the round kitchen table where we usually sat. Although the room was spacious, the seating arrangement was intimate. As we began to open up our Bibles to the book of Matthew, I decided to use the idea of the letter that had been floating around in my head all afternoon.

“The letter we are opening from Matthew,” I explained, “was intended to tell us how much we are loved.” Since Matthew (and Mark, Luke, John, Paul and the lot of them for that matter) couldn’t tell us face to face, they wrote letters to people they loved to tell them exactly that – that they were loved. Not just by them, but by Jesus. Ultimately, writing that message cost most of them their lives. But the message in the letters was worth it – because love always is.

Although the men physically wrote those letters themselves, it was Jesus working in and through them as their fingers penned those words. The things they had heard him say so many times came rushing back and ideas formed and thoughts coalesced as they wrote. God has a way of pulling things together. It is, in the end, His letter and His story. “Knowing that,” I said, “I’m sure God’s heart must break when his letter to us remains unopened.

As the words finished rolling off my tongue, I looked at the gentleman sitting with me at the table. He had an odd sort of look on his face, appearing to be a combination of surprise and sadness with a hint of reflection. Not quite knowing what to say, I asked, “What’s wrong?”

As his eyes met mine, he said, “I don’t think you know this, but I had a daughter who died. One Valentine’s Day she placed a letter on my desk before she went out for the evening. She never came home. That letter remained on my desk for such a long time. I couldn’t open it.”

He was right. I hadn’t known. If I had, I feel quite sure I would have never used the illustration of an unopened letter. There was someone, however, who did know. The same God, working in and through people centuries ago writing the letters in your Bible, is still working in and through people today. He still has the same message. He loves you with a love that has no bounds. He’ll do whatever it takes to get your attention.

That day He used the letter illustration to get the undivided attention of the gentleman at the table. That man knew from personal experience what it was like to have an unopened letter from someone who loves you. You may have one too. I imagine somewhere close to you is a set of beautiful letters filled with the news of how much you are loved…the truth that you can be forgiven….and the hope that life has real meaning. Don’t leave this world having never read those letters.

So stop for just a minute from the business of today and wake up from your slumber of assuming there will always be another tomorrow. For all the things hidden away, never read, never spoken, never done – it’s time to bring them out into the open. There is so much left unsaid in this world and so many things left undone. So many people talking with so few people listening. May each of us truly listen to the people we love before they’re gone. And here’s to finding the courage to let our hearts speak the words we long to say. Here’s to opening letters.

So many things left unsaid……

And so many things said but never heard.

It’s time to hear them. It’s time to say them.

It’s time to come out of the darkness and light up the world.

Carpe Diem

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“Then Jesus asked them, “Would anyone light a lamp and then put it under a basket or under a bed? Of course not! A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light will shine. For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light.” Mark 4:21-22 NLT

“Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ himself wrote it – not with ink, but with God’s living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives – and we publish it. We couldn’t be more sure of ourselves in this – that you, written by Christ himself for God, are our letter of recommendation. We wouldn’t think of writing this kind of letter about ourselves. Only God can write such a letter.” 2 Cor 3:3-5 Msg

“Don’t be intimidated. Eventually everything is going to be out in the open, and everyone will know how things really are. So don’t hesitate to go public now.” Matthew 10:26 Msg

“Nothing in all the world can be hidden from God. Everything is clear and lies open before him, and to him we must explain the way we have lived. Hebrews 4:13 NCV

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Links about the reliability and accuracy of the New Testament:

Josh McDowell: “Testing the Historical Reliabil ity of the New Testament”

The Gospel Coalition: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justin-taylor/an-interview-with-daniel-b-wallace-on-the-new-testament-manuscripts/

Part One: Examining the Record begins 5 minutes into the video

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For the pictures to Unopened Letters, head to the Picture Page!

Check out these two Pinterest Pins for Unopened Letters as well as others. Click here!

Don’t miss the songs!

Why Didn’t You Tell Me

Martha Brehm / Big Stories, Encouraging, Evangelism, Questions / 12 Comments

September 21, 2017

Questions. Over the years, I have had many intriguing, thought-provoking, and sometimes difficult questions asked of me. But there were none more convicting than a question from an honest friend a few years ago. Her name was Marie and we had been in a study group together for several months when the question came up. But before we get to the question, it is important to understand how Marie and I first met.

For those of you who live in a smaller town, you will understand that often you are acquainted with most people but the “knowing them” is pretty superficial in nature. Marie and I would have fit into that category. Our connection was mainly through our husbands who both worked in the medical community where we lived. Our husbands, along with a larger group of men, had organized a family ski trip over Spring Break, including several couples and tons of kids. Each family had their own living arrangements during the trip but we did interact a few times during the vacation. As a caravan of minivans, Suburbans and other large vehicles, we made the long drive from Missouri to Colorado. It was mainly long, not because of the distance, but because of the chaos ensuing in each of the individual cars.

As a nice break, we stopped at a well-known pizza place in Idaho Springs called Beau Jo’s. Crowding into the pizza establishment, I grabbed a seat right beside Marie, her kids, and her husband. This was the first real conversation I remember having with Marie. To be quite honest, I don’t even remember what we said to each other. I feel pretty confident that it revolved around the kids and the vacation. Apart from that pizza dinner, I only visited with Marie one other time on the trip. The second conversation occurred when we happened to run into each other while skiing with our families on one of the mountains. Looking back, the conversation probably lasted around ten minutes or so. Again, very superficial.

Fast forward several years and there we sat together, a little older and wiser, or at least I’d like to think so. Since I had seen her last, someone had given her a copy of “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. The friend who brought it told Marie she felt God was leading her to do so. As Marie read the book, she became convinced that the Gospel was true and it changed her life. As a believer, she wanted to join a study to find out more about Jesus and that’s how we ended up being in a group together.

Every week, I had the opportunity to speak to each of the women in the group by phone. Marie and I became quite good friends as the months unfolded. I have to say that our conversations were some of the most entertaining and fun discussions I’ve had over the years. Marie was a very open, caring person and she was never intimidated about asking exactly what she wanted to know. The decision to follow Jesus hadn’t just been a superficial thing for her. She wanted to know what day-to-day life looked like to live that decision out. Her array of questions included things like, “Do you drink alcohol?” and, “How about Halloween? Do you let your kids dress up and go Trick or Treating?”, and the list went on.

One day as we talked Marie paused and asked, “Can I ask you a question?” My response to that was the typical resounding yes with a qualifier that I might not have an answer, but she was welcome to ask anyway. For the first time I sensed a hesitancy in her voice. She went on, “Why didn’t you tell me?…….When we went on the ski trip, you knew the most important information in the world and you didn’t tell me. Why didn’t you tell me about Jesus?” There was a long silence on the phone. Quite honestly, I didn’t know how to answer. The thoughts that ran through my mind were similar to, “Seriously!!! I probably only spent 30 minutes total talking with you. Are you kidding? I was barely around you. I hardly knew you!”

But I knew then what I know now. All those thoughts came from a feeling of needing to defend my actions and ultimately that stemmed from pride. Yet, when I objectively looked at her question, there really was no defense. I did know the most important thing in the world and I choose not to share it with her. If it had been an earthshaking current event or something exciting about a common friend, I would have immediately told her. The truth is, we don’t treat Jesus like that. We treat him like an old familiar piece of luggage we tote around, like something we keep locked up and carry with us so we have what we need when we need it. The resurrection is the most earthshaking world event there is – for heaven’s sake, our B.C. A.D. dating of time revolves around the birth of the man who pulled it off. There is no more exciting news than that the Creator and Ultimate Judge decided, for no good reason other than grace, to offer us his friendship.

Marie offered me something that day too. She offered me a wake-up call and I have been thankful ever since. The way I talk to people has changed. More and more, I look for ways to bring Jesus into my everyday conversations. I pray and look for open doors to share the most important information I know. To talk about the person I love the most. To introduce the One who can transform anyone anytime. Around my non-Christian friends, and I am thankful to have many, I try to temper that with respect, because I value their friendships. There is nothing better than having relationships where we can engage in open, honest conversations. Genuine questions about what I believe are always welcomed. There is only one question I don’t ever want to hear asked of me again, and that is, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

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Who Needs God? Perhaps nobody. Perhaps everybody. Perhaps we should talk about it. Visit whoneedsgod.com

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For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!” Romans 10:13-15 NLT

Jesus said, “No procrastination. No backward looks. You can’t put God’s kingdom off till tomorrow. Seize the day.” Luke 9:62 MSG

For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes… Romans 1:16 NLT

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To see the pictures from “Why Didn’t You Tell Me?”, head to the Picture Page.

Check out all the Pinterest Pins that go with the story! Click here.

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A Better Tomorrow

Martha Brehm / Big Stories, Comeback, Encouraging, Hope, Inspirational Story / 6 Comments

August 13, 2017

Some days are better than others. This particular day was hectic and busy. But as I passed by the school superintendent’s office, I couldn’t help but take a left and head in to say hi. Misty, the superintendent’s secretary, was at her desk, which was covered with papers. The phone was ringing, papers were flying, and she appeared to be hard at work. Misty was one of my favorite people to visit. It is unusual in this world to find someone who both takes the time and has the ability to make you feel welcome and wanted. Misty is one of those people and I loved seeing her. Almost every morning as people came in and out of the office, she typically had something encouraging to say with a smile on her face. But on this specific morning, her usual smile wasn’t quite the same and she looked discouraged. She appeared to be someone who needed not only a better tomorrow, but a better today.

Misty’s past several years had been exceedingly difficult. She was a mom with two kids, in a marriage that was falling apart. She was separated from her husband with no home and not much income. As is so often true, the word complicated didn’t quite do the situation justice. Misty and her kids were staying temporarily at her friend, Janet’s house while looking for something permanent. The problem was that she didn’t have her own home and didn’t see much hope of getting one anytime soon. For some reason, on that particular day, the discouragement, disappointment, and darkness seemed to hang over her like a cloud. As we all know so well, when we find ourselves in the middle of a difficult, lingering, ugly mess, all it takes is just one more thing to push us over the edge….some little thing at work that doesn’t go as planned, a phone call you didn’t want or expect, a hurtful word during a conversation, …. the list goes on. Whatever had happened that day, my heart broke for my friend.

As Misty and I talked, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Behind and to the left of her desk was the door into the superintendent’s office, which was typically closed. That morning, the door was ajar and I saw Dr. Rhea’s hand motioning for me to come into his office. Dr. Rhea was the superintendent of the school as well as a wonderful friend. He appeared tall and slender with glasses and whitish grey hair. This was a man who beautifully managed the fine line of being in charge while still being warm and friendly.

When a break came in my conversation with Misty, I mentioned that I wanted to say hi to Dr. Rhea and moved toward his door. As I walked into his office, I couldn’t help but notice the huge grin on his face. In fact, even now it makes me laugh. As my mom used to say, he looked like “the cat who ate the canary!” Before I could say a word, he motioned for me to close the door and have a seat. I didn’t think the grin could get much bigger, but it did, and his eyes twinkled, making him look a little like Santa. Words started pouring out of his mouth with excitement as he described the “big surprise”.

Apparently, a couple who knew Misty’s situation, had just purchased a new house across the street from their old one. Rather than move into their new home, they decided to give it to Misty rent free, unconditionally, for as long as she needed it. They gathered together a group of friends and remodeled it, preparing it just as if they were moving in themselves. That group of friends had been spending long evenings working at the house getting the remodel complete. They sacrificed time and money and did it all with unselfish love. The plan and the work had been done in secret and Misty didn’t have a clue. One of the members of the group had confided in Dr. Rhea about the secret and now the time was at hand to reveal the surprise. The very next day, a meeting had been arranged between Misty and her friends at the remodeled house. It was then and there that Misty would be given the good news that the house was her’s — rent-free to move into whenever she wanted. That’s a pretty nice surprise and some pretty nice friends. As Dr. Rhea finished telling me the details, the last thing he said was, “But don’t let Misty know, it’s a surprise.”

Walking back out of his office, I saw Misty still sitting there in her chair. I knew how unhappy, discouraged, and hopeless she was in her situation. Misty had no idea that the house she so desperately needed today, truly would be her’s tomorrow. I longed to tell her it was going to be ok, that she didn’t need to be sad, that tomorrow really would be better, and in fact, not just better, but extraordinary. I wanted to say that she could trust me because I knew what the future held and that she just needed to hang on a little longer. It was such an odd feeling – being part of her sadness and uncertainty in that moment, but also being aware of the joy and excitement that was soon to come. It is a perspective we aren’t often able to have because we rarely know what tomorrow brings. But there is One who knows quite well what that perspective is like. He knows the end from the beginning. He sees each one of our difficulties today and at the same time knows the resolutions in our tomorrows. His heart is for each one of us to know the very things I wanted to tell Misty. And to you, and each one of us, He says, do not lose heart, never give up.

When I get to the end of my life and look back, I’m sure there will be parts I will enjoy remembering so much more because I will know how it ends. All the stress and anxiety will be gone and I will be able to see it with clarity knowing how all the pieces fit together. The difficult part of the here and now is trusting that there is a bigger picture that lends meaning and relevance to the trials we face. And in the end, I trust the Master Planner. It was Jesus himself who said, “In this world you will have trouble.” But he also knows the ending of your story and adds, “but take heart, I have overcome the world.” The following day was an overcoming day for Misty. Her friends surprised her with a beautiful rent-free home and even today, she remembers that as one of the most unforgettable days of her life. So for all of us in the midst of what seems like hopeless situations, just like Misty, your tomorrow may hold the answers to your problems today. And Jesus promises to those who follow him, he is lovingly preparing a beautiful rent-free home for us as well. So relax, because the best is yet to come.

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“So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.” 2 Cor 4:16 MSG

“There are many rooms in my Father’s house. I wouldn’t tell you this, unless it was true. I am going there to prepare a place for each of you. After I have done this, I will come back and take you with me. Then we will be together.” John 14:2-4 CEV

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalms 30:5

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A few Pinterest pins for “A Better Tomorrow.”

For more “A Better Tomorrow” Pinterest Pins, click on this link.

Don’t forget to watch the videos!

It’s Not Too Late

Martha Brehm / Big Stories, Comeback, Encouraging, Motor cycle rallies, Regret / 0 Comments

May 4, 2017

Being late has always been an issue for me. This day though, was different. I was on time, but I was about to learn a powerful lesson about timing.

Jess and I met on Monday mornings at a convenient store called The Short Stop, located in a small town between the two of us. We were studying the book of John, spending an hour before she had to head to work in Bentonville. Most Monday mornings, we met inside the little cafe where seating was located. This particular Monday morning, she brought her dog with her, which required us to sit outside at the picnic tables to the west of the store. It was a picturesque place surrounded by big trees with a little local school beside it and railroad tracks across the street. Dixie, her dog, sat beside Jess as we enjoyed the beautiful fall weather and talked about some things in our study.

About halfway through, two unexpected arrivals came crashing onto the scene. A biker, riding a rumbling motorcycle, pulled up beside us from the road. At the same time, a pit bull came trotting up, seemingly out of nowhere. Immediately, Dixie began barking and the pit bull advanced toward her with a menacing growl. There was a flurry of “activity” complete with loud barking and growling as Jess drug Dixie quickly to the car and stuffed her inside. The biker, seeing the commotion with the dogs, walked over and glanced at our stuff on the table. He looked at Jess and me and asked if we were having a Bible study as the pit bull calmed down and began to wander off.

“We are!” I answered and asked if he would like to join us. “We’re looking through the book of John,” I added.

The man standing before us looked to be around 60. He seemed quite tall in his boots standing there by the picnic table. His face was weathered and tan, and his black hair was pulled back in a ponytail. I asked his name and he informed me it was William.

William told us he had walked away from God.

“You can go back,” I said. “It’s never too late. At least not in this lifetime.”

There were a few minutes of silence. Jess needed to leave, and this break in the conversation provided an opportunity for her to excuse herself and head off to work. With Jess and Dixie gone, I sat there next to a man standing beside me who looked strangely sad. William began talking about a time in his life when he had been very involved with ministry. He had shared the gospel at a few motorcycle rallies and had great responses. He organized a group of men and they began having church at the rallies.

For some reason, at this point, William launched into a story about an individual he had met at one of the rallies. The man he’d met had a very vivid dream and hoped that William would be able to tell him what it meant. The dream centered on the vision of a train roaring past, right in front of him. The immensity and closeness of the train was frightening. He had an intense feeling he should be on the train, yet he had no way of getting onboard. There was an overwhelming sense that he was missing something very important. Yet, the story had an interesting ending. As he watched the train head away, he looked back and saw himself already standing on the platform of the caboose.

William admitted to me that he didn’t know much about dreams but for some reason that particular day, he felt like he knew the answer to the stranger’s question. He shared with the man that the train was the gospel and that it represented the way to reach God. And that although the man had felt it was too late to get on the train, it wasn’t. They talked about Jesus and in fact, the man chose “to get on the train” that very day. For numerous rallies after that encounter, the man with the dream would always come up to our biker and tell him how much their conversation had meant to him and the changes that had occurred in his life since then.

William paused and then added, “But I walked away from God and I don’t preach at rallies anymore.”

“Why don’t you go back,” I asked.

Somehow the question seemed to wake him up from somewhere deep in thought. “I can’t,” he replied, letting the words just linger, hanging there in the gentle wind. After another long pause he went on, “I’ve done something that won’t allow me to go back.”

He explained that his wife had developed cancer a few years ago and after months of watching her suffer, she had died. An anger had welled up from deep inside and William said he had walked away from God. He couldn’t forgive him. William spent months alone lost in grief and sadness trying to find some kind of peace.

One day he heard a knock at his door. Slowly he opened the door and standing there before him was a woman he knew well. William and his wife had been good friends with her. The woman stood before him with tears streaming down her face. She said she was leaving her husband and needed somewhere to stay for a few days until she could figure out where to go next. At this point in the story, I saw William struggle with what to say next. Finally, he blurted out, “I shouldn’t have let her in, but I did. And she stayed……. and I fell in love with her.” She filed for divorce but several months later her husband came to the door. He had come to tell her that he had been diagnosed with cancer and wanted her to come home and try to work it out. William said it was agonizing for him, but he told her she should go home to her husband. He packed her things and she left.

Another pause came in the story as though my biker friend was reliving the whole sad affair. He looked tired and his face tense and stressed. “I sat at home alone for a few days trying to understand what had happened and to make some kind of sense out of it.” After four days, once again a knock came at the door. She had returned, saying that she didn’t love her husband, she loved William. And she wanted to come back and live with him. Sounding somewhat like a broken record, William told me, “I shouldn’t have let her in, but I did.”

He went on, “I knew it was wrong. She was married and had so many things to work out. I didn’t need to complicate things. This all just happened the night before last. Yesterday morning I got up early, looked at her sleeping, and knew I needed to figure out some things. So I jumped on my bike, and to be quite honest, I’ve been riding ever since. For 24 hours I’ve been searching for answers. I don’t know why I pulled in here, but I did. And there you two were. I want to get things right with God and I’m sorry that I walked away. I’ve made so many bad choices since then that I don’t think I can go back. Besides, if He did forgive me, it still wouldn’t be okay because I plan to go home and repeat the same mistake. I don’t want to – I can’t – give up the woman I love even though being with her now isn’t the right thing.”

So there was William, just like so many of us are, standing at the crossroads of what we want and what we think is right. Sometimes we just need someone to listen and talk through things with us. That’s exactly what happened that day. The two of us talked about how short life really is and what is ultimately important. That God forgives and not only forgives, but then enables us with the power of his Spirit to do what is right. Often, doing the right thing requires a sacrifice. William knew those things, he just needed to be reminded. Maybe you need to be reminded of those things too. We all do.

As we finished talking, William held out his hand. I wasn’t sure at first what he was doing. Then it hit me. I held out my hand and he took it and began to pray. It was such a beautiful thing to hear a man who had been hurting and running away, turn around and head home toward his Father.

Just as William was closing his prayer, we could hear the sound of a train blowing it’s horn and racing down the tracks right across the street. I smiled at my new friend. In over 20 years of coming to the lake, I’d never seen a train on those tracks. Right then was the perfect time. As the train passed by, we both knew William was on it. Because it’s not too late.

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“The Lord said: ‘It isn’t too late. You can still return to me with all your heart…Don’t rip your clothes to show your sorrow. Instead, turn back to me with broken hearts. I am merciful, kind and caring.'” Joel 2:12-13 CEV

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The Promise of a Dance

Martha Brehm / Big Stories, Encouraging, Faith, Healing, Inspirational Story / 0 Comments

June 13, 2016

Over 2000 years ago, Aristotle said, “A promise made must be a promise kept.” All these years later, each of us still desires that to be true. When a promise is made, we want the one who made it to keep his word. This is the story of a man who lived life believing that the one who made a promise to him was trustworthy.

My encounter with this gentleman occurred on an adventure called Missions Week. It was one of the wonderful opportunities my children participated in each spring during high school. As a freshman, my son headed to a place called Youth With A Mission in a beautiful little town called Ozark, Arkansas. It is always nice to have a pediatrician around on a school outing, so I was one of the lucky people chosen to be a chaperone. My job was to be in charge of a sweet, entertaining group of young ladies which I pictured in my featured image for this story.

Upon reaching YWAM, one of the first places the entire group was scheduled to go was a local nursing home. When we arrived, the students began visiting with the residents and then promptly set up for a performance in the large main room. The kids sang several songs and entertained the group for at least 30 minutes or more. During the show, I noticed one gentleman who was particularly thrilled with the songs and actively involved with the students who were singing. He sang from his wheelchair with a bright smile on his face, often clapping his hands along with the music and cheering at the end.

When the performance was over, I walked across the room to meet him. His name was David. When compared to the other residents in the nursing home, David was young – probably somewhere in his fifties. Also, David was without a doubt the happiest person there. That alone would be a surprise to some onlookers, since David was a double amputee confined to a wheelchair. He also had a mild intellectual disability and couldn’t speak without long pauses between his words. Yet there he sat, with a smile that lit up the room and joy that was contagious.

The two of us chatted about the songs and the kids and then about the nursing home. As our conversation was coming to an end, I noticed the chain he was wearing around his neck. A simple gold cross hung on it. I pointed to it and said, “It looks like you know my best friend!”

“Jesus?” he asked.

“Yes, Jesus,” I responded.

“I……do……know…..Jesus,” David replied.

We then began a conversation about how great Jesus is and ended by agreeing that we couldn’t wait for the day when we see Him.

Then David said something that is perhaps why he could sit in a wheelchair with no legs but still have joy bubbling out of him like a fountain. “When…..I…..see…..Jesus…..face…..to…..face……I……will……have……legs!”

Of course, I could only grin from ear to ear and nod my head in agreement. Every scar erased, every wound healed, every disappointment overcome. David saw with such clarity what so many of us miss: the reality of God’s promises. He had absolute confidence that God really would do what he has said he would. There would be no compromises, no failed attempts, and no broken promises. And because David trusted the One who made the promise, he lived with confidence that one day everything would be made right.

When I asked David who introduced him to Jesus, he said, “Janie. Janie…..told…..me..…about….. Jesus.”

“Who is Janie?” I asked.

“She’s…..my……friend.” I found out from David that Janie was a woman from a local church that had been coming to see David for quite some time.

“Janie…..comes…..every…..Sunday…..to…..talk…..to…..me…..about…..Jesus.”

I don’t know who Janie is, but she has my admiration, and I’m sure all of heaven’s applause. She takes time every week to come to a nursing home and talk to David. I love this woman! And David loves her as well. His life is different because she showed up and keeps showing up. So for whoever your “David” is, keep showing up. You’re making a difference. And if you don’t have a David, find one. There are nursing homes, schools, shelters, jails, and a thousand other places full of people who need someone to care. Janie is changing the world one person at a time. So can we.

As I said goodbye to David, he promised that when I saw him in heaven he would dance with me. Standing on two legs. I’m looking forward to that dance.

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“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1 NLT

“God is no mere human! He doesn’t tell lies or change his mind. God always keeps his promises.” Numbers 23:19 CEV

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or pain. All these things are gone forever. And the one sitting on the throne said, ‘Look, I am making everything new!’ And then he said to me, ‘Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.'” Revelation 21:4-5 NLT

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It Just Takes One

Martha Brehm / Addiction, Big Stories, Encouraging, Inspirational Story, Recovery / 0 Comments

October 13, 2015

How many times have we all missed the opportunity to help someone along the way? I know for me, that has happened far too often. When I begin to think I’m unable to help or I am just too busy, I remember Stephanie. She taught me that I can never really help someone else without getting back more than I gave. Love has a way of doing that.

When I first met Stephanie, I was teaching a parenting class at the Lafayette House, a place for women recovering from substance abuse and domestic violence. She seemed distracted and agitated and it was difficult for her to stay in her seat for any length of time. After class was over, Steph came up and we talked. She walked out the door and despite the fact that I had given her my number, she never called.

About a month later, I was back at the Lafayette House and there she was, sitting in the hall alone. I saw in her a sadness that wouldn’t allow me to just walk past. As we sat and talked, she told me that she had relapsed back into her addiction. Things had seemed so hopeless that she had reached the point of trying to commit suicide. Her children had been put into foster care and there she found herself – overwhelmed, discouraged and very alone. Even at her lowest point, the woman who sat before me had a smile that radiated and a heart that was warm and open to change. And, the change began.

After leaving the Lafayette House, and a few phone calls later, Steph came to a Bible study I was teaching. Over time we became good friends and I watched Steph fight each and every day to stay clean. She has been successful in battling her addiction and now has her boys back from foster care. Through the years, she has developed an inward beauty that matches the outward beauty of her smile.

As we talked on the phone one day, Steph said something that will stay with me forever. We were discussing some of our friends who were trying to break free from addictions. Our conversation was about a couple who found themselves homeless and desperate. Their situation reminded Stephanie of all the times in the past she had found herself in similar circumstances. She thought back to the times she had nowhere to go, no one to help her, and no one who she believed cared. Thinking back to her lowest moment, she shared that her family and even her friends; basically everyone she knew, had given up on her. And then she said it. The words I will never forget. The words that seem to linger in my mind and repeat over and over. “I just needed one person to believe I could make it. Just one person!”

God did send that one person for Stephanie and now her life is different because of it. She experienced something known as “hesed” in Hebrew. Hesed is a committed, faithful love that is offered not as an obligation, but given without seeking anything in return. No expectations and no demands. It’s given in grace. And the amazing thing about grace is that once you’ve encountered it and experienced what it’s like to receive, you can’t help but give it to someone else. Having said that, I’m sure you must realize what Stephanie said next. She said, “I just needed one person to believe I could make it. Just one person. And now I want to be that one person for someone else!” She did and she continues to be.

So as I go through the day-to-day walk of life, I try to keep my eyes open. To look for the opportunity to be that “one person” for someone else. I would challenge you to do the same. The world needs fewer people looking out for themselves and more people looking out for someone else. Who is in your life that just needs “one person”? Because it just takes one.

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Romans 15:1-3 Msg “Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter and not do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, ‘How can I help?’ And that’s exactly what Jesus did. He didn’t make it easy for himself by avoiding people’s troubles, but waded right in and helped out.”

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Kelly’s Story

Martha Brehm / Big Stories, Cancer, Encouraging, Healing / 16 Comments

March 17, 2015

Writing these uncommon stories has been on my agenda for years. So finally, at long last, the time has come. The first is prompted by the story of my dear friend Kelly who died a few months ago. She is no longer here with me, but I am hopeful that her story of healing will live on in others.

Kelly and I initially met through a mutual friend who recommended her to me as help for cleaning my house. I found that Kelly always worked hard and was very efficient and thorough. As the next 15 years flew by, the two of us became quite good friends. In the beginning, Kelly rarely shared anything about her childhood other than it had been very difficult. Her mother hadn’t wanted her and her father wasn’t in the picture. She had been “adopted” into the family of her mother’s sibling but rarely felt safe. Later in our friendship, Kelly admitted that her early years were frightening and full of abusive. At the time, she said her life seemed to be a nightmare from which she just wanted to escape.

At 15, she became pregnant and gladly left home to get married. But the nightmare continued as her new husband began both verbally and physically assaulting her. Kelly had a baby boy and stayed in the marriage long enough to have a little girl a few years later. After all that time, she finally found the courage to leave her husband and live on her own with her two children.

Kelly worked two jobs and had to depend on others to help raise her kids. As her son Marty grew up, he began experimenting with drugs and eventually became addicted to meth. In 2007 he was shot and killed. Her daughter had become involved in an abusive relationship and Kelly had taken one of her grandchildren to avoid foster care. At this point, there was so much pain and suffering in her life that it seemed overwhelming.

Still, over the years I had seen a distinct softening, a change in her heart and the way she looked at herself and others. The hard exterior created by the abuse had begun to melt away. We had long conversations about life, kids and forgiveness. We talked about God’s existence and what He was really like. As those questions were answered for Kelly, she found freedom from her pain and a stability she had never had. But in 2015 she was diagnosed with lung cancer and once again her world was shaken.

Kelly had remarried a few years before this, and when she discovered she had cancer, her husband divorced her and left her with nothing. Despite all the hardships and difficulties, she remained one of the most positive people at the cancer center. Her kindness to the nurses, doctors, lab technicians and staff was heartwarming. She started calling me “Sis” and introduced me to everyone as her sister. I called her “Sis” in return.

The chemo treatments were miserable but kept the cancer from spreading for about a year. After that, cancer began to win. Lying in the hospital bed one evening, we started talking. Kelly asked me to promise her one thing – that I would be there with her when she died. She said she was afraid and didn’t want to be alone. My response was that I would try but couldn’t promise. “Besides,” I told her, “I’m praying that you are going to get better, and that you will be healed.” She looked me in the eyes and in a soft voice said, “Oh Sis…. I’ve already been healed.”

In that moment, we both knew exactly what she meant. All the tragedies and pain and sorrow in her life had been reconciled. They didn’t define her. There was beauty where the old darkness had been. All the different parts of her life had found meaning and instead of her story ending in bitterness and anger, her story was ending with joy and happiness. Several days before she died, she called me to her side and whispered, “It’s ok if you’re not here when I die. God is here with me and I know now that I am never alone. I am not afraid anymore.”

Sis died in August. August 11th to be exact. My world is a little sadder – but heaven is a little brighter.

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“Remember, I am with you always, even to the end of the world.” Matthew 28:20

“LORD, my God, I prayed to you, and you healed me.” Ps 30:2 NCV

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For all the great pictures for Kelly’s Story, head over to the Picture Page!